June 2004

Making a Difference - by John Carey

1st

Article in the Register Herald Today by Bev Davis with Hamlet's Thoughts on Fatherhood.

If you would like to view the Register Herald article featuring Hamlet from today's paper (6-18-04) please click here.

(Note: You will need to set up an account to view the article from the Register Herald web site)

2nd

A Father's Voice

by Hamlet Smith

Ephesians 6:4

What an awesome influence we as fathers wield. Children largely get their view of God the Father from what they see in us. It is clear that it is the father’s role in families to provide a framework for training and teaching.

Ephesians 6:4

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

How do we go about fulfilling this mandate? Well, the Bible is replete with instructions about shaping our children’s view of the world. One obvious directive is that it has to be an integral part of our day to day living.

Deuteronomy 6:4-7

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

As fathers it is our job “from day light till dark” to reinforce who God, our Father, is and what it is that we should be doing. In my opinion, one of the most powerful tools we have is a daily family worship time, a time each day for the family to gather to pray and read God’s word. Could there be a more important function that to meet God everyday with your family and to systematically go through God’s word to us? While I understand what a crucial role this plays in the overall education of my children, I continue to struggle to accomplish this. Talking with others, I am convinced that I am not alone in my struggle.

I do know that if we drop the ball on this, Satan and this world system are prepared to come in and provide our children with a framework to view the world. Many, many children spend far more time with the television than they do with their fathers. My brothers, this should not be. I call us as men with the words of Heb. 10:24-25:

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

How can we spur each other on with love and good deeds toward our families? We all need help! Let’s talk about it!

- Hamlet

hamlet@lifestrat.com

3rd

Making a Difference

by John Carey

When I became serious about raising my children, I wanted to know what was expected of me and how to make a difference in their lives. Focusing on the familiar verse, "Bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," (Ephesians 6:4) I began thinking of them as little plants that only needed the right nutrients to grow. Getting plenty of advice from others who had their own gardens, too, I was told to remain focused on doing the right things. Provided with a list of things to do and a schedule of watering times, I pressed forward. While it was made clear there were no guarantees, the plan was to remain faithful and consistent and, hopefully, all would work out. As time went on, however, I observed that just doing the right things was not resulting in growth. My plants were beginning to wilt.

I needed help to make my plants grow, so I dug deeper into Ephesians 6:4, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." In the Greek, I learned the word "bring" means a commitment to bring our children to completion - or maturity - in the Lord, to take them from where they are to where they need to be. It also implies a life-long commitment. We fathers are to be dogged in our determination to complete the work of maturity. After taking a closer look, I could see that plans and schedules are only good as long as they are setting a pattern which brings us closer to the goal.

What is this goal called maturity? If I am supposed to be taking them from here to there, where is "there"? What is maturity as God defines it? Maturity can be summed up in Deuteronomy 6:5 "... thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." In other words, our children need to become the kind of people who mean for Him to be Lord: they need to cherish what God cherishes; His goals for their lives are to be their goals for their lives.

As I began working toward this goal in a determined way, I met with opposition from friends. They were not too happy that I had changed the list, as well as the schedule. I was told, "Look. Only God can change a heart, and He is the only one who knows a heart. Just have faith and stick to the plan." It is true we cannot make a child love God any more than we can make a plant grow. However, we can determine whether the choices we have made are making a difference in their lives. Also, we can get a very good idea of their heart’s condition by the fruit that their actions produce: for example, how they treat their siblings and whether they are respectful to authority. Plans and schedules are vital, but we need to prevent them from becoming ends in themselves. God expects our actions to bring results!

Let’s make sure we are working with our wives to get the results God desires, not just feel like we are doing the right thing because we are being affirmed by those around us. First, we must determine to pray every day with our wives, not in general terms for the kids but in specific ways. Then, we must learn to know our children’s hearts and try to understand if they are making progress in learning to allow Jesus to be their Lord.

While it is true that as leaders we are ultimately accountable for the progress our children make, we are not alone. We have our wives, and we have the One who commissioned us for this task, who not only shows us how to do it but also enables us to know if we are making progress toward the goal of maturity. Let us look for - and expect - results, knowing that the work He began in them He will bring to completion. Let’s work together with the One who empowers us to really make a difference!

"And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to completion in you." Philippians 1:6 (Amplified Version)

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God. . ." James 1:5

- John Carey

discipleship@chewv.org